we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
