if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
