I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do herpes really smell.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
