I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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