u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You have to summon your inner elephant
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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