she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Randomize
