ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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