Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize