we have officially lost it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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