Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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