Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
