In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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