I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
