i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
