omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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