I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
