Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
