Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
