No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
