I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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