ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
