The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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