but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize