fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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