is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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