I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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