Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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