im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
