we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
