Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I miss vodka workout Fridays
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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