After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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