im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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