tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
