Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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