So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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