Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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