AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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