RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize