Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
