So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
there was a trapeze. enough said
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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