If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
