Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
