I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
