lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
