I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
