You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
