I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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