is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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