how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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