But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
