Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
