Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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