I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Where is the hickey?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize