i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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