So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I need to align my fucking chakras
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
