I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I need moral support for this bender
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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