What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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