gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize