your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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