p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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